Parenting is an exciting adventure! When you become a parent for the first time, you’re consciously learning how to be a parent. When the next baby comes along, you think if you figured it out the first time around, you sure could do it better this time. However, you would come to realize almost very quickly that each kid has a different personality of his own which requires an entirely different parenting style from the rest of your children. This means you have to study each of the children’s traits and govern them accordingly. Parenting has ups and downs. But certainly, there are days you’d feel you’re doing a great job that you could tap yourself by the shoulder.
On sibling rivalry
Although three years apart and the oldest child is sweet and almost motherly to the younger twin, they still have to deal with sibling rivalry. There could be millions of toys in the room to play with, but they would still fight over that one specific toy. These are times you see their personalities come into play. So at one time, they would love to be with each other so much, and yet in another, they would like to kill each other just as much.
Perhaps the biggest adjustment for the first child is to learn to share what she has with siblings and not be a kind of a big sister that beats upon the younger ones. This can gradually be achieved as they play together and she has to learn to share her toys and take turns with them. It obviously doesn’t happen overnight. It takes time. But the most important thing is that you see how she loves her siblings. When they’re grown up, they will realize like we all did how silly it was fighting against each other.
On balancing work and home
Wearing different hats is a challenge to parenting.
Some parents especially fathers who are out to work most hours of the day go home tired and lethargic. Thus, could only look forward to sleeping right away and hence no time for children anymore. Dr. Berry admits that juggling work and life is made easier by a wife who takes care of children at home. He is well aware that he could do whatever needs to be done at work with a certain focus because someone else is fending for his children in his absence.
Work takes him away from his kids more often than he wants. But the thought of having them waiting at home sparks his energy up to the ninth, tenth hours. It keeps him motivated because he knows he has a family to provide for. Whether he’s having a bad day or he’s having a good one, his children are always happy when he gets home. For every working parent, it is important to learn to just put everything down and give your full attention to your children when you’re home. Because if you don’t, kids are keen to pick that up. And sometimes, they would break things just so they could get your attention. Thus, maximize the one or two hours you’re having them before they sleep. Keep catching up!
Tips for the lockdown
Now that they’re not seeing their friends, be their friend. Play more of their games. Be their teammates. Watch their movies and cartoons even if they watch them over and over again. Run with them and enjoy what you’re doing together because you have so much time to be with each other. Remember kids have so much energy, they don’t seem to get tired playing. That’s why they hate to see you go. One more thing you need to understand about kids is that they play the same game over and over with no end in sight. And it just doesn’t get any boring at all. So even when you’re tired, you will need to gather more energy so they could enjoy your being there. If you must, try to be creative so you won’t run out of energy.
Cultural boundaries on Discipline
Being born and living in the US makes kids freer to do most of the things that they like to do with almost no or less intervention from adults. But Dr. Berry chooses to apply strict parenting. He wants his kids to be surprised and take notice of his stern voice when he calls them out for something he doesn’t approve of. This is definitely necessary if you want to grow good-mannered children amidst a liberated culture. This doesn’t mean every single mistake gets called out, but this means you identify which one should be.
Kids are kids and we want them to also explore the world to be their own selves someday. But as long as they’re with us especially now that they’re still young. We have the responsibility to take charge and at least try to curtail and control their misbehavior. After all, whether they behave well or not, it would almost always automatically be attributed to the kind of parents who raised them.
Dr. Berry’s channels:
Facebook: Dr. Berry Pierre
Instagram: Lunch and Learn With Dr. Berry (@lunchlearnpod) & Dr. Berry (@drberrypierre)
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