Nate is known for being talkative. And when I say talkative, I mean overly talkative. I can imagine his name on the list of the noisy folks in class already. lol. As long as he is with the people he knows, he will keep on talking and asking questions.
Last week, we were helping a neighbor nebulize her son because he was having an asthma attack so we let them use our nebulizer. The boy, experiencing it for the first time, was wailing on the top of his lungs. Out of annoyance, Nate went near him, and with an emphasized voice, he told the boy:
“Kasama ‘yan sa paglaki! Sayang ang gamot!”
We were all laughing out loud! Oh, the kids are indeed a blank slate, they copy what they see. Those are the things that I used to tell him back when he was still feeling uneasy with the nebulizer.
Last Friday, during my last day at work, Nate was preparing to go to bed. The talkative boy that he is, out of nowhere, asked:
“Ma, iiwan mo ako?”
So immediately, I answered,
“no, ‘nak, di kita iiwan.”
Then he added:
“Si papa, iniwan ako. ‘Di ba it’s not good to iwan the bata?”.
I was shocked. At first, I didn’t know what to say or how I can explain to this young lad why his papa is still a good man even though he left us to work abroad.
I stopped to look him in the eye and I prepared to defend his papa. I told him not all jobs are like mine. Many jobs require people to go places and that includes his papa’s job. I emphasized that even if his papa wants to be with us, he had no choice but to be away. I ended our conversation with a ‘hope’. I said, “don’t worry, konti nalang, uuwi na si papa at magkakasama na tayo uli! yay!” His face lit up.
As expected, Dane was sad to hear about this. And so am I. For so many months, we have contemplated on whether he would go home for just a short vacation or if he would be home for good. Now that he is a branch manager, a salary increase awaits him if he just comes home for vacation. It was tempting. It was not an easy decision for us but in the end, we both decided he’s coming home for good. And now, after this encounter with Nate, I think that we made a good decision.
This was not the only time Nate said something about Dane’s job. Many times in the past, Nate said, “tagal naman umuwi ni papa!” or “hindi ko na pabalikin si papa sa Saudi”.
You just can’t have the best of both worlds. With Dane working abroad, we had a good income cash flow that allowed us to save. Financially speaking, life is better with him away. However, our family is compromised. I can’t imagine Nate (and his future siblings) growing up without seeing his (their) father for more than a year, see him and be with him for about two months, and again, be separated with him for another year. Iniisip ko pa lang, nalulungkot na ako.
We don’t know what the future holds but for now, we are sure that this is what we want for our family. One time, I told Dane, “bakit parang nakadepende nalang yata ang kinabukasan natin sa kung babalik ka ba dyan o hindi? ‘Di ba dapat kay Lord lang tayo nakadepende?” It will surely not be easy but we have our faith in God and we believe that He will never forsake us. Heis our anchor and our strong tower. In Him alone we trust.