Which is more painful? A friend you had a serious fight with before you decided you’d just separate ways or a friend you thought was your true friend but suddenly disconnects with you without saying a word?
I think any “friendship break-up” (as I call it) is painful. I just had one recently and I’m still trying to move on from the pain.
This is our story…
I’ve known her for 10 years now. Since the day we became friends, there was only one occasion that we had a misunderstanding. For me, she was such a beautiful, kind and lovely lady! I have always admired her and I consider her one of my closest friends. We would laugh about the silliest things, we would chat and talk about our relationships with our boyfriends before and we set a date to bond from time to time.
We saw each other fall in love, we saw our heart breaks, we shed many tears together, and we saw each other happily get married. Our lives were not perfect but we know that we always have each other’s back no matter what.
Well, at least that’s what I thought…
I am very expressive when it comes to my love for my friends. I told her so many times that I love her. Because I really do. Then, something happened. Something I never thought would ever happen to one of my friends. Something I was not emotionally ready.
She was “chismis-ed” about something I could not even imagine she could do. We started to help out by talking to her personally to see if the problem can still be fixed. I understood her side and let her be. I set my doubts about her aside . However, the proofs just keep coming until just lately, the rumors were confirmed. By the time it was confirmed, she was gone – to a place where nobody knows exactly where.
She disowned her family and blocked everyone, including me, from her social media accounts. I guess it’s safe to say she doesn’t want to have anything to do with us anymore. What do I feel about this whole situation? Right now, I’m just too tired to worry about it. This has been going on for more than 7 months.
She had the chance to be completely honest with us when we confronted her but she chose to cover her lies with another lie. I wanna get mad at her but I just can’t. I feel hurt. I am devastated. I am sad, I am broken hearted with what she did that I cried so many times over this matter. I was sad that there was nothing that I could do. I love her so much and I always told her that. But right now, she chose a different path. And that path has no room for me or her family. She chose to end our friendship (I thought was genuine) without letting me know.
I still think of her. I mean, how could I ever forget that friend I love so much?
Or did you really consider me as one?
Saan ka man ngayon, sana ay ayos ka lang. I have always wanted to talk to you again but you chose to block me along with all other people who treat you as a friend or a family. I don’t understand why ‘coz the last time I checked, you even messaged me to greet Nate a happy birthday and even said: “to follow nalang ang gift”. So what exactly happened? You can’t enlighten me on this part anymore ‘coz you decided to disconnect from us. Right now, we don’t have any means of communication. Pero para saan pa, di ba? Binlock mo nga ako para ‘di ko na malaman ang whereabouts mo e.
I have been quiet despite everything I heard about you. Iniisip ko kasi, sigurado punong puno ka na ng pang-aaway galing sa mga kapamilya mo dahil sa landas na pinili mong tahakin. Ayoko na sanang dumagdag. Kahit ako man, di ako natuwa sa naging desisyon mo sa buhay. Pero pinilit kong wag magsalita nalang kasi alam ko sobrang dami na ng stress na ang pinagdadaanan mo ngayon.
Alam mo ang pinakamasakit sa lahat ng ito? Yung tinuring kitang totoong kaibigan pero ‘di mo pala ako pinagkakatiwalaan. Maiintindihan ko kung secretive ka talaga na tao, pero ung mga panahon na sana nag ‘come clean’ ka nalang, siguro maiintindihan pa namin. Ilang beses ka naming tinanong tungkol dito at ilang beses mo rin dineny. Sinabi ko naman sa’yo ‘pag nalaman ko, ako ang unang sasampal sa’yo. Pero pa’no ko pa gagawin yan e nagpakalayo-layo kana? hehe. Pero, sana ang paglimot sa’yo kasing dali ng pag-block mo sa’kin sa Facebook, ‘no? Kaso hindi e.
Nakakalungkot isipin na hindi man lang kita natulungang makawala sa mga temptations ni Satan sa’yo. Unti unti ka ng nahulog sa pain nya ng ‘di mo namamamalayan hanggang sa ‘di ka na makawala. Nalulungkot ako para sa’yo kasi sigurado ako na kahit ipilit mong kumbinsihin ang sarili mo na masaya ka sa kalagayan mo ngayon, kahit kailan, di ka patatahimikin ng utak mo. Ang kaibigang kilala ko, may paninindigan sa buhay at may konsensya. Ganun ang pagkakakilala ko sa’yo.
Siguro nga galit ka rin sa’kin kaya mo ako binlock. Siguro ayaw mo na din akong makasama at makausap uli. Syempre rerespetuhin ko ‘yan at wala din naman akong choice. Ni wala ngang nakakaalam kung na’san ka ngayon. Pero ito lang ang reminder ko sa’yo kahit di nalang bilang friend mo (kung di friend ang turing mo sa’kin). Ang sabi ni Lord: “No one can pluck you out of my father’s hands”. Kung totoong anak ka ng Diyos, naniniwala akong babalik at babalik ka sa kanya. You can’t run away from God forever. Kaya sana totoo ang pagtanggap mo kay Lord dati. Kasi un nalang ang pinanghahawakan ko ngayon. Yun na lang ang hihintayin ko. At pagdating ng panahon na ‘yun (kung sakali man), isipin mo sana na andito lang ako, kasama ng mga kapamilya mo, at si Lord, handa kang patawarin at unawain.
Ingat ka nalang jan. Kung gusto mo akong makausap kung sakali man you can always just unblock me sa FB and send me a message.