WAHM & Marriage

Our Love Story and Why We’re Holding On

I can still clearly remember. It was Sunday morning in September last year, we hugged and said our goodbyes while he kissed his one-year-old son. We smiled, pretended that everything was fine and were successful in holding our tears. Moments later, he gave his last hug, turned his back and went inside the departure area.

That was the day my husband left to work on a 2-year contract in Saudi Arabia.

It was a sudden admiration when I saw him for the first time, way back 2007 when we met during a church-related activity. Who would’ve thought that after more than a year, this guy would be my boyfriend?

Fast-forward to 2012 when we said our vows in front of God, our friends, and family, as we began the new chapter of our lives as husband and wife. It was a magnificent and delightful day I will never forget! Nine months after we tied our knots, God opened my womb and I conceived a lovely baby boy who added overwhelming joy in our lives.

The decision of him leaving to work abroad was never easy. We weighed things a hundred times: the pros and cons, the cost of being away for 2 years, the possibility of his son to not recognize him when he comes back home and the fear that one of us might fall into temptation and infidelity.

We were scared, we were unsure, we were facing a dilemma. We kept asking for God’s guidance in our every decision making, that whatever we decide on will be according to His will. We rested in the truth that He will never leave us and will make everything done according as He planned. When you know there’s not much you can do, you leave everything to the Lord and put your faith in Him.

The first two weeks was the most dreadful weeks of my life. I was brokenhearted, I was overcome with fear, uncertain thoughts and tons of “what if’s”. I missed the man I was always with for more than 7 years that I couldn’t think straight at work. I’d sometimes find myself staring at the wall, my tears falling, my heart filled with sadness. It became even more tormenting every time I see our son, smiling at me, completely unaware of what was going on. This little boy reminds me so much of his father each moment I look at him. It felt like part of me was missing, was out there. I felt incomplete.

Thank God for technology, the pain became lesser and lesser as the days passed. It made the world smaller, but it never made us closer. Nonetheless, I always look at the bright side: we are fortunate that we now live in the world where the people we miss are just fingertips away. I cannot imagine how difficult it must be before when the only means of communication were telegrams and long distance calls. That must be very frustrating! Technology is a blessing when used well.

If you ask us how we made it, I’d say we’re able to go through the pain of missing each other by living one day at a time and not thinking about how much longer we’ll have to wait. Not only that, constant communication plays an important role during this challenging time.

If only it was just the two of us, we would never let any of us be away for this long. However, this love needs to sacrifice, for a better future that we can give to our son. This love needs to compromise so we can save up, for him not to live a life that was as difficult as ours. This love should not think of itself, but instead think of a larger picture, a bigger goal that needs to be accomplished. This love needs to suffer the pain of being temporarily away from those it cared for in order to achieve the dreams that we have for him. This love could’ve stayed at the comfort of each other’s arms but it decided to get out of the comfort zone for a possibility of a better life someday.

Sacrificing our “love” for a love that looks at the bigger picture: the future of our son

Every day, I update my husband about everything that is worth sharing. We’d chat and spend hours video calling. It’s important to get in touch with our loved ones who work abroad because we are their source of strength. We are their happiness, we are the reason they’re away. That’s why I make sure that he doesn’t feel neglected by telling him all the things that he needs to know.

Incomplete but still happy. This is among the thousands of photos I send to my husband everyday

I cannot, in any way, say that this relationship for almost eight years is full of happiness. A lot of times, we would have a misunderstanding, we’d argue over petty things, we’d have different opinions and decisions that sometimes we wanted to insist. We quarrel, we get mad at each other, we apologize and we reconcile. And the cycle goes on. That can sound boring to others but that’s what love is: it’s looking beyond the sweet “I love you’s”, flowers, gifts and chocolates. It’s about knowing you are inseparable. It’s about accepting each other’s flaws, correcting them when they’re at fault, rejoicing with them during success and comforting them when they’re down.

Many long distance relationships fail because it seems that other think it’s easier to give up than fix it. True love keeps going, no matter how hard it can get, no matter how far the distance, and no matter how long the waiting will be. Love is patient, love sacrifices and love never ends.

As the moon waits for the sun to set in order to shine brightly, our love patiently waits for the day we’ll be together again. 
When they think gap is a hindrance, 
be the love that knows no distance. 
When they say forever isn’t true, 
be the love that believes in “’til death do us part”.
When they think giving up seems like an easy thing to do, 
be the love that holds on.
In a world where many relationships fall apart, 
be the love that hopes, waits, sacrifices and never lets go!

P.S. This post is originally an entry to Nuffnang’s #changethewayyousee contest for week 3. This post has been edited and altered after the contest duration ended. No, I didn’t win, but that’s OK. πŸ™‚

0 Replies to “Our Love Story and Why We’re Holding On”

  1. I know how it feels being miles away from your loved ones. I agree that we are very lucky these days that missing someone is just a click away. Mabuti nalang talaga may internet, kundi mababaliw tayo kakaisip sa kanila. Kaya nyo yan, akalain mo yun mag 1 year na pala si hubby mo dun, ang bilis ng panahon. Hindi mo nalang mapapansin, naka 2 years na siya dun. God bless your family gaw. πŸ™‚

  2. Thank you, gaw! Oo nga gaw, mag 1 year na pala! Parang ang bilis na ang bagal, di ko maexplain! haha. Can't wait na umuwi na sya para may ka-sports na uli si Nate. πŸ™‚

  3. Hi Nilyn. Stage lang naman ito sa buhay. With proper planning and education, you and your husband will have saved enough and at which time, you are prepared to have a better source of income na hindi na niya kailangang lumayo. Buti na lang sa technology, pwedeng magkita and mag-usap. Noon walang ganyan.

    http://www.amazinglifedaily.com #AmazingLifeDaily

  4. Thank God really for technology , our distance from our loved ones is just one click away. I can't imagine too how hard it is to be away from my family (wife and daughter) for too long. I guess the advice: taking "one day at a time" really helps because that's what I would probably do too.

    So when is your husband coming back? Or is he back already?


  5. That's true Sir! I never want this to be our situation for years and years. We're hoping after his contract, he won't need to leave again. We are saving, and hoping that we get to save more so we can maybe have a little business or something. Another source of income.

  6. If it comes to it, for a better future for the kids, I can let go for a couple of years, no problem. But I would rather not do it, if there is some way we can provide said awesome future while staying intact. which is why as I was reading your post tears welled up my eyes, and I can't fathom the pain that you are going through right now… kaso sab rin nila mabilis lang ang panahon.. kapit lang πŸ™‚

  7. I can relate how long distance relationship can affect both party of the relationship as I am also in a long distance relationship and my partner and I can't even see for the past three months.

  8. This made me remember my cousin's story. They got married, had a kid and her husband left for Australia to work then after a few months, they followed. Before they were married they were long-term boyfriend-girlfriend which made me admire them. They were apart during college and got back together afterwards and it was like a fairytale. Now, they're happy in AUS. I'm sure that 2 years will be easy especially that you have a strong bond! πŸ™‚

  9. Thank you Kristine. It's a bit challenging, specially that we've been together for years already but you're right, the bond that we have was also something that kept us going.

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