Last Sunday, we had fun and learned so much during our quarterly women’s fellowship. Women’s fellowship is a church gathering for all moms and wives in our Cluster, which is Cluster one. This gathering is composed of 4 churches: Golden Shower (our church), Caloocan, Litex (QC) and Montalban (Rizal) church.
Our fellowship’s speaker was Ma’am Mariette Bermejo and she talked about “The Godly Woman as the Light of the World”. This, of course, is subdivided into 3 topics: a woman in the family, the church, and the community. We had some series of Q&A after the session and I made sure I ask the most important question for me at this time: it’s about disciplining our children.
I wanted to hear what her advice would be.
She’s a mother (both spiritual & biological) and a grandma already.
I knew I asked the right person. So my question was:
When toddlers start throwing tantrums, do we deal with them with a soft or a strict tone? When do we spank?
Ok, before I tell you her answers, don’t get me wrong. I asked this because, sometimes, when Nate starts getting mad, when I talk to him kindly, he wouldn’t listen, minsan mas lalo pang nagdadabog, if I talk him with a strict tone, sometimes, he’d cry so loud, and he’s just one so I’m not sure if I should start spanking him. Some people spank their children slowly at an early age.
So here’s the answer that I got:
1. Manage Children’s Tantrums by letting them cry in the corner
She said tantrums are absolutely normal. If they start throwing tantrums, it’s better to ignore them and let them cry if they like to. I know some kids really just want attention and they do it by crying or throwing tantrums. She said to just let them cry, eventually, they’ll just stop when nobody’s watching.
What’s funny is, she said, before she’d use to record her daughter’s cry and plays it when her daughter starts crying. haha. And she’d stop crying when she hears her voice played on the cassette player! lol.
2. Manage Children’s Tantrums: Don’t use food to punish
She said some would use food to punish their little ones. “If you keep doing that, I won’t let you eat your snacks/baon/etc”. Punishing using food will just make them sick sometimes, in the end, tayo parin ang mamomroblema. Which I completely agree, I’ve never tried punishing Nate by not letting him eat his food and I don’t plan on doing that either.
Related: Top 5 Advice to First-time Moms
3. Manage Children’s Tantrums: Spank only when they can understand
She said spanking just hurts the child if they’re too young to differentiate the good & the bad yet. She unless we’re sure that they already understand good and bad, it’s better not to start spanking.
4. Manage Children’s Tantrums: Ask for God’s wisdom
Of course, prayer and God’s guidance is what we need in dealing with our upset youngsters.
So these, basically are the things that I learned from her. Which I will keep in my heart as Nate grows up.
“Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.”
-Proverbs 22:6 King James Version (KJV)
How do you handle your child’s tantrums? I’d like to hear from you! 🙂