WAHM Parenting Diaries

How to Manage Children’s Tantrums

How to Manage Children's Tantrums

Last Sunday, we had fun and learned so much during our quarterly women’s fellowship. Women’s fellowship is a church gathering for all moms and wives in our Cluster, which is Cluster one. This gathering is composed of 4 churches: Golden Shower (our church), Caloocan, Litex (QC) and Montalban (Rizal) church.

Our fellowship’s speaker was Ma’am Mariette Bermejo and she talked about “The Godly Woman as the Light of the World”. This, of course, is subdivided into 3 topics: a woman in the family, the church, and the community. We had some series of Q&A after the session and I made sure I ask the most important question for me at this time: it’s about disciplining our children.

I wanted to hear what her advice would be.

She’s a mother (both spiritual & biological) and a grandma already.

I knew I asked the right person. So my question was:

When toddlers start throwing tantrums, do we deal with them with a soft or a strict tone? When do we spank?

Ok, before I tell you her answers, don’t get me wrong. I asked this because, sometimes, when Nate starts getting mad, when I talk to him kindly, he wouldn’t listen, minsan mas lalo pang nagdadabog, if I talk him with a strict tone, sometimes, he’d cry so loud, and he’s just one so I’m not sure if I should start spanking him. Some people spank their children slowly at an early age.

So here’s the answer that I got:

1. Manage Children’s Tantrums by letting them cry in the corner

She said tantrums are absolutely normal. If they start throwing tantrums, it’s better to ignore them and let them cry if they like to. I know some kids really just want attention and they do it by crying or throwing tantrums. She said to just let them cry, eventually, they’ll just stop when nobody’s watching.

What’s funny is, she said, before she’d use to record her daughter’s cry and plays it when her daughter starts crying. haha. And she’d stop crying when she hears her voice played on the cassette player! lol.

2. Manage Children’s Tantrums: Don’t use food to punish

She said some would use food to punish their little ones. “If you keep doing that, I won’t let you eat your snacks/baon/etc”. Punishing using food will just make them sick sometimes, in the end, tayo parin ang mamomroblema. Which I completely agree, I’ve never tried punishing Nate by not letting him eat his food and I don’t plan on doing that either.

Related: Top 5 Advice to First-time Moms

3. Manage Children’s Tantrums: Spank only when they can understand 

She said spanking just hurts the child if they’re too young to differentiate the good & the bad yet. She unless we’re sure that they already understand good and bad, it’s better not to start spanking.

4. Manage Children’s Tantrums: Ask for God’s wisdom

Of course, prayer and God’s guidance is what we need in dealing with our upset youngsters.

So these, basically are the things that I learned from her. Which I will keep in my heart as Nate grows up.

“Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.”
-Proverbs 22:6 King James Version (KJV)

How do you handle your child’s tantrums? I’d like to hear from you! 🙂


24 Replies to “How to Manage Children’s Tantrums”

  1. Sometimes I ignore them nalang, like in your post, basta they're not hurting their siblings. When they do, I remove them from the situation and tell them we should not hurt anyone, it's bad.

  2. I normally bring them to a corner and explain to them that the behavior is not acceptable. It depends on the maturity of the child. but you have to remain calm.. beating is certainly no use.

  3. My child rarely throws a fit. But when she does, I let her cry. Once she gets tired of crying, I talk to her about her behaviour. She's just two but she understands and responds to my question. However, there are times when I spank her especially if she doesn't want to listen to me.

  4. The first thing I would always do is to control myself when my daughter is having a tantrum. Walking away and ignore her are effective for both of us. Because when nobody is giving her attention, she would stop.

  5. My kids are no longer toddlers, but I remember letting them cry when they throw tantrums. Sometimes, I try to talk to them, but if they don't listen, I just let them be. I just talk to them later. Sometimes, I make the mistake of raising my voice, which I regret later. Thanks for sharing the message from your women's fellowship.

  6. Controlling my self when my son is having a tantrum is always a challenge for me. My son can understand but I just don't know why it's even harder to handle his tantrums. When we are at this situation I always count from 1 to 3. I will tell him when I reached 3, that's the end of my patience. Sometimes it works, sometimes it didn't. I think it's a stage and it will pass, hehe.

  7. If Little Kulit having tantrums I let him cry kasi titigil din nman after that we talk. Super challenge to handle them when they have tantrums lalo na if they are only child. But I always said who is your mom, who is older than you if he answer me "you mom" sasabihin ko you know naman pala eh you have to follow me 🙂

  8. Kami, when she starts crying na, I ask why. I urge her to use her words. Even if sometimes, I have to say it for her kaso 2 palang sya. It works kasi she gets to think and she refocused on forming her words and saying what she feels than just crying.

  9. Thank you for sharing! She answered your question well and I agree that children should understand what's wrong and what's right. The reward and punishment method doesn't work on kids anymore. It's too brutal. We don't allow them to think, we just condition them to do what's expected when we do this.

    I like Paulline's answer above. Encouraging your child to speak gives you an idea of what they want. Encouraging them to communicate gives you the chance to explain why they can't have what they want, or why mommy and daddy won't let him have it. Kids are stubborn sometimes but we can't give up on them.

  10. I completely agree with you. I try to urge my son to explain too, although wala pa talaga syang masabi kasi he's just 1 yr & 5 mos. Pero I hope that is a practice for him to express himself more.

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