WAHM Parenting Diaries


The first cry I never heard

     It was Monday after when we arrived at the hospital. I was with my husband Daniel and my sister Beverly at that time. The contractions were still bearable but have become regular when we were inside the cab. We headed to information department and where we were advised to proceed to the delivery section. I was so determined to have a normal delivery because of many reasons, 1. MONEY (of course, it’s cheaper J), 2. RECOVERY (I knew it was faster when on vaginal delivery), 3. SHORTER STAY IN THE HOSPITAL (I didn’t want to stay longer in the hospital, to save money as well. Lol!). I we had everything ready, my hospital bag was packed few months ago, but I was not ready for the “real” pain.

          When I was in the delivery section, I was advised to leave everything, cell phone, money, rings, any accessories but I was advised by my doctor that I can have my camera with me so I brought my digital camera inside. My sister and my husband never saw me suffer. I waved good bye to them while I was going in the delivery room. I was anxious and a bit nervous but I just kept observing. I watched Daniel for the very last time and went inside the room. 
My last photo before I gave birth
    I was then assisted by a resident doctor when I was inside the room. What I saw were lanes of hospital beds, on the right side with notes “HIGH RISK” on them – I believe that was for pregnant women with pregnancy complications like gestational diabeteshigh bloodpressure, etc. I lied next to a woman, almost my age and was assisted by nurses and the resident doctor. I was asked why I decided to go to the hospital already and so I said because of my mucus plug and my regular contractions. I was advised to change clothes and wear the hospital gown. I was kind of nervous but I managed to stay still. The nurse checked my cervix and told me that I was 4cm dilated (wow, the stairway really helped!). 

     We had a little chat with the pregnant woman I was with, her name was Naomi, she said she’s been admitted since 5AM that day and still didn’t have regular contractions. She told me on that day, no one had a normal delivery yet and the hospital people were hoping it would be her. I hoped it would be us. She was expecting a baby girl. Later, my contractions have become stronger and more frequent, I almost forgot to do the right breathing, Naomi still had to remind me about it. Many pregnant women came and go, some were advised to go home as they’re not ready to deliver yet, and there was one woman on the HIGH RISK bed who was noisy, I think she had diabetes. I couldn’t really observe what was going on anymore because my contractions were becoming almost unbearable. Naomi was later feeling the pain more and more as well but my water broke first. 

     The resident doctor came back to me to check my cervical dilation and later told me I was already 6cm dilated and that my membranes ruptured already, I really felt that too. It was a gush of water, warm water.  I think I was later given an epidural on my back, both sides, I was told it would lessen the pain – I didn’t know if it really did because it was still sooo painful.

     What was on my mind when it was very painful already? I don’t know. I kept closing my eyes – remembering what my cousin told me: “Whatever happens, no matter how painful it is, never forget that the pain will soon end.” That kept repeating in my head. I was honestly singing the song that we sang during our devotion the night before I was in that hospital. I also thought of the people outside praying for me. I knew there were a lot of them that prayed and just to think of that helped me through that very painful experience. Throughout my labor I felt like I wanted to pee and poop at the same time!

     The resident doctor went back to me to check my dilation one more time, every time she’d do that it would become more and more painful. I heard her whisper while she was checking – 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8. OMG, I was 8cm dilated already and it was so painful, I knew Natewas coming out any time soon. I still didn’t see my doctor around. Where was she?

     I think it was after 30 minutes that I felt my bed move, I was going to be transferred to a smaller room I guess where I would do all the pushing and all that. I was already trembling; I can feel my feet move every time. And the contractions? Oh my, the intervals would only be around 30 seconds and the contractions I think were 1-2 minutes long, I wasn’t sure. When in the little room where actual “deliveries” are made, we were there, still waiting for my doctor to arrive. They prepared everything, I was just closing my eyes, crying, trembling, I was really crying for God’s name – “LORD…LORD” I heard myself say that several times. I remember the nurse would tell me to breathe properly to give air for Nate. I didn’t even know I wasn’t breathing properly anymore!

     Then my doctor finally came and they had everything ready. She told me to push to diagnose me, she said my push wasn’t enough and she had one of the nurses put a medicine on my dextrose. Then she told me to ready myself and give all my strength when she tells me to push. She told me to inhale, hold it for about 2 seconds and PUSH!

     I didn’t know what happened next.
      Read about my labor and contractions

     Click here to read more about my first meeting with Nate. 🙂


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